Tuesday, October 16, 2007

the lining of heaven and hell

Dawn. A sliver of the moon is still shining. The sun is rising. A hairline of hell’s gate is still open. A red day. Blood has been spilt by the devil himself. Hell’s gate finally closes. The blue sky is slowly reappearing. All is quiet. The trees are being blown, leaves flying in the air. Autumn, 1431, October 22nd, the day no one can forget, the day Sarx was born. I’m from Elizix and have moved to Hitrae, the nicest city in Exrek or the universe. My name is Exen. I am a warrior of my own kind, protecting the human race. We fight all: apes, tigers, demons, the undead, and most of all we are at constant war with the minions of Sarx and Zerk, the greatest demons that are known to the universe. Yet we are trying now to kill Zerk and Sarx, but we cannot locate them though we did find Zerk’s lair. The demons are too strong and we had to flee the Onyx Sanctuary. I am now living my life in Sondo, a once happy city, but not since Zerk’s minions have come here. We cannot be very happy any more and I don’t think we’ll ever see happiness in Sondo again, not until the human race kills Zerk and Sarx. And we are never in harmony with the tigers or apes anymore. Yet that may be the only way we can ever defeat Zerk and Sarx. “I hope that Sarx will die soon brother” said Kniscare. “Me too, Kniscare,” said I.


by: Yoad
PS: hope you liked it I'm just starting a book and this is my first page so hope you liked it and thank you for taking your time.

7 comments:

Adam Gelmon said...

Yoad, this is an fantastic hook! You've managed to paint a rich painting with your powerful words. I can't wait to get in line for your book signing!

Mr. G.

Jonah said...

Good work. i could see a mental picture in my head!!

From Jonah

JaCoB said...

yoad, great hook, really liked it, great mental pictures

Arieh said...

Wow Yoad that is truely amazing i wish you good luck on your book im writing one two

ME said...

Yoad,
It sounds like a professional hook it included great mental pictures. I can`t wait to here more. When you finish it you should publish it your chances are like 1 in 1 or better. Amazing first page

From: Jake-ee

Melzz said...

yoad that was a really good hook/first page i really would like to hear more.

from Melody

Anonymous said...

good hook. I think you should wright more i want to read it!!!