Hey everybody!!! I wrote this poem today and its my first draft, if you guys can comment on it it would be great!!! Thanks alot. And Im going to change the end but I need comments to do it!
Already walking into the
music room I can
hear it
its music, I look
at the blackboard, I
see it
Music notes, I saw
the teacher, I
could hear
Her voice, I see
her fingers moving
on something
the piano, I see
her having a
good day
-Janine
Already walking into the
music room I can
hear it
its music, I look
at the blackboard, I
see it
Music notes, I saw
the teacher, I
could hear
Her voice, I see
her fingers moving
on something
the piano, I see
her having a
good day
-Janine
3 comments:
Your first stanzas awsome.
So if you end up changeing stuff in the poem don't change the first stanz.
I think that was your best poem so far! It was very clear and had awsome line breaks! Maybe you could end up leaving the room and when you get outside it suddenly seems so dull, compaired to the music room? (Just an idea.)
Marc L.
I agree with Marc and Marc. I really love Marc L.'s suggestion of the music outside of the room being muted; or, how about the way the music stays with you even after you leave the room?
-Mr. G.
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