Saturday, February 16, 2008

4th and final draft of horse poem

hi guys,

I had another idea...the story of spirit is way to long and it would take me for ever to write it in a poem. So instead I'm just going to leave it at the beginning of the movie and maybe you can imagine what happens next-let your mind explode with idea's!

Nini


Galloping through the tall green grass.

Letting the wind go through my tail,

And rustle between the hairs of my

Mane.



Playing games in the dry canyon walls,

to finding new places and adventures

through out my area.



I was the leader of the heard.

And with that job came responsibility.

A lot of it.


At some points I got really curious.

And at some points, too curious,

That's how I endangered the whole heard

and especially, my pride.



One night, I saw a little light...

apparently it was a fire.

And that's how my whole

adventure started.



Once seeing the fire, a wiser horse would've

ran away. But I wanted to know

who these strange creatures were

and what they were doing here.



Apparently I woke them up and

they wanted to catch me.

But why would I let them do that?


plz. comment

1 comment:

Nomi said...

This is a good poem. The imagery is light yet captivating, and it kind of pulls you in. The lines in each stanza threw me off a bit because there's no set structur. I've seen Spirit so I was able to catch on easily, but it might not be as easy for someone that has not yet seen the movie.
Where you ended the poem seems not to be a cliff hanger, but merely the middle of the poem cut off. There might be a better way to summarize the movie into 5 or 6 stanza's, perhaps you should let that be a challenge for yourself.
In any case, it's a good poem, I still miss rhyme's, but it is otherwise a very nice free verse poem.

Good luck if you choose to accept the challenge of summary!
~Nomi, Grade 12, Lord Byng Secondary