Dracula Obituary

Dracula, age 200 died in Fang Hospital after sucking blood out of a poisonous peacock, on Jan 10th 1996. His wife, children and many others except Ogi the Bear will miss him. Dracula had a strong relationship with Pete the Farmer. They would always go to Vampire Bowling together. Pete misses him dearly. Dracula's bat “Ron” wept for about an hour and then moved on. Dracula also had a cat named “Tooth”, a cow name “Jim”, a frog named “Hermit”, a squirrel named “Dog” and a chestnut named “Bill”. Dracula always enjoyed taking long walks across Blood Mountain and enjoyed going to the disco for vampires at 9’ o clock every night. A funeral will be held at Fang Synagogue, 2734 Tooth Road. Everyone is welcome to bring gifts in memory of Dracula. Complimentary punch to follow.

BY ARI HAVUSHA!