Skoon Pa
You come in
on your frigid flight
then you take
me out each night
No matter what mom say’s
we go out
with out a doubt
We play, laugh
and have fun
we are always on the run
day in and day out, rain or shine
I wait for the next day
over and over again
without saying a word
for that day
I wait for more
though,
just to go to the store
I dread that odious day
the day that you leave
and when you are gone
I know I have done wrong
Then I look back
and react
because now I know that
you love me
And that one word I forgot
to say
hits me
so hear me today
all I want to say
is......................... Thank You
plaese comment on the poem
p.s. Skoon Pa means grandpa in africkans
Thursday, December 13, 2007
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2 comments:
This is a very touching poem and I greatly enjoyed it. The only thing I would say would be to use a little more structure when writing. For example, the whole poem could be made of quatrains instead of random triplets. And a more structured rhyme scheme would put greater effect into your poem. Otherwise, it was a lovely experience to have read your poem.
Good Job! And keep up the good work,
~Nomi, Grade 12, Lord Byng Secondary
i rlly liked your cadence u had tons of rythm and it flowed. just try and make it a bit more specific but otherwise job well done!! :)
-Ar-eee
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