Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Thank You poem - Sliding down the Slides

Hi everyone this is my thank you poem for my mom. It isn't excactly a "thank you" poem it's more like something that is important to me. Please comment!

Sliding Down the Slides

When I was
1 and a ½
years old

you used to take me to the playground

I
of course
don’t remember these
memories

but from you telling me

I can even
picture
the stuff that we did there
at the playground
in my head

we had so much fun
together

you chasing me
me running away
and laughing

sliding down slides
me
first afraid


but after getting used to them
sliding down all the time
with a smile on my face

in the sandbox
according to me
I “wasn’t allowed” to
get dirty

and if I would
get dirty
I would get out and rub off
every single grain of sand or dirt
that was on my foot


sometimes
I remember
all of these things
that we did
at the park

they always put a smile on my face

just wanted to tell you
that when these things come to my head
I remember

that you were there
at the park
with me

every time

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shak-shak

I thought you did an amazing job on you poem1 you made it really personal and that is what our poems should be like. I thought that your spacing is kinda off because some important parts are at the end of a stanza when they should be a one-lined stanza.

Overyall i thought you did an fantastic job on you first draft and i can't wait for your final draft!

Fanny

Anonymous said...

good job!
i thought you had alot of great sensory images, and overall you did amazing!-adi-