Saturday, February 2, 2008

What was once, and never became

Hey guys,

I'm writing a poem about a horse describing his life as a horse. But I only have the first stanza, and I need help to make the second one. Please comment and leave suggestions.


When I was free,

I used to run like the wind.

Galloping through the tall green grass.

Letting the wind go through my tail,

And rustle between the hairs of my

Mane.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi,
I love the first stanza!
I think maybe for the second one you could explain what it feels like when someone rides the horse, or something on that line. I don't know that much about horses so I can’t help that much but I think that could be a bit helpful.

-Bayle

Anonymous said...

Janine,

I think the start of this poem is amazing. Every single line gave me a different sensory image which was very clear. I think you should carry on writing it and it will turn out amazing.
GOOD JOB!
- Isabelle