Saturday, February 27, 2010

Ugly Little Crow

It was a lovely spring morning in Sacramento, California at a turkey farm. The flowers were blooming in a color only described as the color of the sunset. The trees were full of leaves with an amazing shade of green. The wind was rushing through the leaves and made that sound the unanticipated whoosh.
Three little turkeys were born, but there was another egg much smaller and uglier than the others that had not hatched yet; it was as small as a thimble and the color of ash with little specks of electric green on the egg.
Four days latter the ugly little egg hatched. And what came out surprised everyone. It was as ugly as a crow in fact it was a little crow.
The mother thought “Oh how did this happen? I am so unlucky and ashamed of her.” Everyone on the farm knew how the mother turkey felt about her little ugly baby crow, even the poor little baby crow knew what its mother felt about it.
Now the barn gossiped about it like no end. First the horse told the pig then the pig told the cow and the cow told the cat and the cat told just about everyone including the baby crow.
Everyone agreed that they hated the baby crow and that they should take it away. They all said “Go away we hate you! Just leave no one wants you! You are weird and ugly stay away from us and our children!”
The poor little crow just had to face the fact that no one wanted her. So she flew away to San Francisco with a gaggle of geese. They were flying non stop and it was hard for little crow to ketch up so she landed without them.
She landed in the ally of Gabe’s Bar and Grill. It was a nasty run down shack with camouflage paint chipping of the side and a tin roof and had holes in it. Behind the shack though was a whole other story. A Rooster and an ally Cat but most importantly food and shelter. The little crow was so happy she just dived in to the food.
Now Cat was spunky and feisty but smart and Rooster was very old and wise yet still had some spunk left in him but he had seen many things. The rooster was an old cockfight and he had seen so many people and places thus he was wise beyond matter.
Cat had mats in his fur and was a shockingly bright shade of orange with jet black stripes down the side. Cat purred as loud as an engine but Rooster put up with it. Rooster had many colors on his body like his fire engine red head and neck, or his orange back, or the grays and whites on his chest, but we can’t forget his light pink legs. He would crow every morning even though it got on every ones nerves.
Cat and Rooster took the ugly little Crow in as if she were family. They fed her and helped her grow they gave her support and watched her become herself. However the ugly little Crow always had doubt in her looks. In a way they became a little happy family the Crow, Rooster, and Cat.
Then one day the rooster said “I think it is time we tell her about her other option for beauty, she should know all the ways to the beauty she craves don’t you think so Cat.”
Cat yelled in a wistful tone, “No! We can’t tell her, she might get hurt or worse never see us again.”
Rooster replied glumly, “Do you want to live with the guilt and have her not be happy and. Know that you could have changed that?”
Cat said solemnly, “I guess you are right when we should tell her?”
Then Little Crow came in and said “Tell me what?”
Cat and Rooster said together in a whisper slyly, “That there is another way you can make yourself beautiful, but you already are to us.”
Little crow said, “I know, I know, I know, it is the inside that counts you tell me that everyday blah blah blah blah blah! What is the real way I can become beautiful?”
Rooster then said calmly, “Go to L.A. fly south and get plastic surgery, I know some people that owe me and go to there motel.”
Little Crow said excitedly, “When can I go, when can I go, when can I go! Wait! Why didn’t you tell me this earlier is there a catch or something?”
Cat said shyly “Because you needed to know that we like you for you inner beauty not outer.”
Rooster said, “I agree with cat but it is your decision. You can go tonight”
Little crow said, “I am going tonight then!”
Once little crow got to the motel she was exhausted, she slept for two days straight. Now the motel was ugly as sin. Those made the crow feel bad because she thought she would fit right in. The next night she got up and went shopping first to Hollywood, then Beverly Hills, and then O.C.
After two more days she checked in at the hospital. She was getting a nose job, wing lift, liposuction, fillers, botox, new feet, and more. The surgeries total was thirty-eight hours long and for a little crow that is very, very long.
Next came the recuperating progress. She was bandaged head to toe and couldn’t do a thing. She had feedings, battings, and any thing that she would do normally someone else had to do for her. As you could imagine the process of sitting down all day and night and not seeing the results was agonizing to the little crow. So she took up hobbies like, reading, music, knitting, language, and watching soap operas.
After one whole month of sitting down she could take the bandages off and see the results. Since they were in a bad motel they didn’t have any mirrors, so she set off to the beach to sea her reflection in the water.
Once she was at the beach there was the problem of people in the way. Now whenever she was out before it was a night time so she didn’t see many people. She said “Oh my, is this all for me?” Then suddenly a little crab the size of a penny said, “No it is Saturday.” The little crow was sad at that but kept going to the shore.
Once at the ocean she looked at the reflection staring back at her and was fabler gasped at what she saw.
“A seagull! Oh My, I look beautiful and so good looking! I look amazingly amazing!” screamed the Seagull. “I have a white head and a gray back and a yellow beak! I look fantastic!” yelled the Seagull cheerfully. "Why look at me, I’m a seagull everyone at the farm would be green with envy." She was strutting down the “Runway” Beach. That’s when she saw the rest of the seagulls. She joined them and they all flew away.
Now she spends her life stealing sandwiches, scones, cookies and cakes form humans on the beach. But she never forgets what the Rooster and Cat said about her inner beauty because she was beautiful to them all along.

4 comments:

Adi said...

Dear Dani,
Your story had a very effective lead. It grabed me and also had a very original and effective title. It had an excelent use of dialouge, and proper use of it. Your story had very few mistakes. Your sensory laguage was very well and your story was very well organized.
Good job!
-Adi

Shane R-D said...

I really liked your mental pictures and you congigated your twisted fairy tale really well with the real fairy tale.
Well done!

joelle said...

Dani, I really liked that you used a lot of sensory language in your story. It created many mental pictures for me and I thought that it wasn't too confusing with changes. You had a few convention errors but I'm sure you will fix them by the time you get to your final draft.
Good job!!
Joelle

Gabriel said...

Great lead ot grabed not because I was in suspence and wanted to see what happened but because it was really well written,

the end let me off well but it was way to fast it could use a little more detail