My Room
my room
mine mine mine
its all mine
my room
i wake up to it
i sleep in it
it all mine
nothing
nothing can tack in
away
my room
my hope
my dicier
my place were dreams
can come true
my room
its absolutely spotless
in my own way
my organized closet
my clean floor
my room
sometimes i wish i
didn't have clean it
some say if you want it to
get filled withe clothes on the floor that's your decision
my room
my hell
my endless purple
my room
my darkness
my unthinkable
dreams
my room
my everything
Alex
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Posted by alex at 1:12 PM
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4 comments:
i like youre poem but there are a few mistakes like on line 7 it sais it instead of it's and the third stanza i think it would be better grammar if you say noone can take it away not nothin can take it away.
still great poem
I like youre poem but there are a few mistakes like on line 7 it sais it instead of it's and the third stanza i think it would be better grammar if you say noone can take it away not nothin can take it away.
still great poem
I like your poem but there are a few mistakes like on line 7 it says it instead of it's and the third stanza i think it would be better grammar if you say no one can take it away not nothin can take it away.
-Yoad
Wow! that was really good, it made a mental image right when I reached the second stanza!!! The only thing is that you made a few grammar mistakes... but none of that is very important. I liked how in some parts you described everything in your own way that some people may not understand.
Good job!!!
-Janine-
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