Most of the time soccer is really fun, but last week we had a practice that totally made me upset. First, our coach, who is usually super nice, was in a totally bad mood. As soon as practice started he had this, like, really big scowl on his face. We had to run five more laps around the field than usual My legs were completely tired, and the work had just started! We then had to do sprints for ten whole minutes. I thought I was was going to puke! We didn't even get to touch the ball for another half an hour.
I don't have to tell you how completely mad I was.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Fix this "bad" paragraph (Due Wed)
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23 comments:
Hi Mr. G,
Here is my version of the paragraph
Usually Soccer is a blast although last week we had a practice which drove me crazy. First, our coach who is usually nice was in a bad mood. Right when practice started he had a huge scowl on his face which scared me and my whole team away. Just from running away he made us run 5 extra laps along with the five we had to do originally. Once we were done I felt as if my legs were falling apart, the worse thing was the work had just begun. Afterwards he made us sprint up and down the field almost a million times. I thought I was going to explode!
It’s hard to explain how angry I was after practice!
Hi Mr. G, i found the securtiy thingy in the recicle bin but it was still working so i deleted it.
Soccer, Soccer what a blast, although it is a blast, coach made last week's practice a faliure for my friends and I. He really is a joke, when you dont catch him on the rong side of bed. He can out of his car with a frown that could kill a cow. He made us run like a machine! He didn't give us a break and my legs felt broken into one billion diffrent pieces. O but he wasn't finished! we had to sprint for a melenium (actualy only ten minutes but it felt as if it was forever). I was so dissy I felt was going to puke my guts out. All that was a waste of time because we only got fifteen minutes to play the game I love. Now every day I see him i want to strangle him!!!
Here it is Mr. G:
Basketball is the best thing that ever happened to me. But Last practice, I don't think you want to know. First of all our coach was late and got into a terrible fit. Which I didn't get, because he's usually really nice. We had to run another 3 laps, outside and we were shivering too! My legs felt as if they had no bones in them and they were just a balloon that couldn't hold itself up. "What!? work just started!get back up"he yelled at us while we were walking to the bleachers. And then we had to do another extra 50 crunches! And I didn't feel very well. We also got a 30 minute lecture on why we shouldn't be late. I felt like I was going to explode!
Janine
Usually I look forward to soccer for the whole week, but last week's practice made me change my mind. Greg, our coach, who always has a smile on his face, was a living hell! Straight away he had this face that showed me and my buds he was angry. Normally we run 3 laps around the pitch, but today was different. Today we had to run eight laps! My legs were crumbling beneath me, he then told us with an evil grin on his face that the work had just started! We had to do lateral sprints for ten excruciating minutes. I puked up a bit in my mouth but told no one, in case Greg would give me more laps! We weren’t able to get our feet on the shining balls for another half an hour.
By now I think you can understand why there was smoke coming out of my ears!
Here you are Mr. G.
Marc L.
Usually I look forward to soccer for the whole week, but last week's practice made me change my mind. Greg, our coach, who always has a smile on his face, was a living hell! Straight away he had this face that showed me and my buds he was angry. Normally we run 3 laps around the pitch, but today was different. Today we had to run eight laps! My legs were crumbling beneath me, he then told us with an evil grin on his face that the work had just started! We had to do lateral sprints for ten excruciating minutes. I puked up a bit in my mouth but told no one, in case Greg would give me more laps! We weren’t able to get our feet on the shining balls for another half an hour.
By now I think you can understand why there was smoke coming out of my ears!
Here you are Mr. G.
Marc L.
Hockey has had its share of good days and not so good days, but last weeks practice was beyond belief what the couch made us do. My coach woke up on the wrong side of the bed that morning he was a total grump! As soon as my blade hit crisp ice my coach gave me a stare that wasn’t usual. The first words that came out of that guy’s mouth were “five laps everyone”! After three laps around the ice my legs felt like rubber, but that was only the beginning of this torture session. Then we had to do 50 suicides. I couldn’t feel my legs after that. It was like a ten-hour army coarse. Fore the remaining bit of the practice
We didn’t even get to touch the pucks. Now if that were you on that ice how would you feel? Yah Exactly!
Matt
Soccer is really fun, but last week we had a practice that was horrible. First, our coach who is wonderful was feeling unhappy. As soon as practice started he had a great big scowl on his face. His eyes could have melted steel. We had to run ten laps more than usual. I could barely move, let alone run, and we had just started. After that we had to sprint across the whole field for ten minutes! I thought I was going to barf! And worst of all we never even touched the ball!!! I don’t have to tell you how bad it was.
Micah
Soccer is usally a blast, but last week we had a practice that turned my smile upside down.
To start with, our coach, who is usally bursting with happyness,
was bad tempered. He acted as if we were his slaves by making us run 5 extra laps and then do sprints for ten long minutes. My legs were about to collapse. The worst thing is that we weren't even allowed to dream about touching a ball for the next half hour until coach finally decided we could excersize with the balls!
-adi-
Hey Mr. Gelmon here's the better version of the paragraph:
Last week our team had one of the worst soccer practices ever! It began with our fabulous coach who was not in a fabulous mood. As soon as practice started you could see grumpiness painted all over his face. Our usual five lap warm up was turned into a ten lap warm up. My legs were throbbing as we continued through the painful laps. After those miserable laps our coach topped it off with ten grueling mintutes of sprinting. For 30 more agonizing minutes our team had no physical contact with our beloved soccer balls! I was so furious at our "Fabulous coach".
Mr. G here is my better copy of this 'bad paragraph'
I love soccer practice because my coach is always in a good mood. But last week, soccer practice was horrible. The coach was having bad luck. I mean, he got a flat tire on the way over and spilt coffee all over himself. He, for some reason, felt the need to take all of his anger out on the team by making us do five more laps than usual and if he saw us slow down or talk he made the whole team do walking lunges the distance of the field. I could almost taste my pancakes for the second time. The worst part about the practice was that we did not even get to nudge the beautiful black and white balls. By the end of the practice my legs felt like they were jelly fish. I am not so excited for next weeks practice.
Bayle
Hey Mr. G,
Here it is:
Most of the time soccer is exciting and fun, but last week my team had the worst practice ever. A lot of the time are coach is a fun coach, who doesn't get mad at you if you slip on the ball while your trying to do a scissors move, but today coach was furious. The second I saw coach I knew I was in for a long practice, because he had steam coming out of his ears.
"What's up with coach," I told my friend John. Coach turned his head in my direction and yelled
"you, 5 laps around the field, knees up."
"Who me."
"Yes you, well actually, because I'm in such a great mood, how about we make the whole team do the laps."
"Thanks a lot Bram," my teammates mumbled my teammates to me, as we started running. When the team was done running, all we got was a 1 minute water break. Soon after coach made us do 50 suicides. After that I was puking. I had sweat dripping down my face. I was so furious I skipped practice for 2 weeks, and at the games I passed to the other team. Although when I did return to practice, coach was nice. Boy, life's strange.
-Bram S. 6B
Usually soccer is the thing I look forward to most during the week, but last week practice was horrible! First, our coach, who usually has a big smile on his face, was apparently not in such a good mood (would you call yelling at anyone who’s in his way in a good mood? I don’t think so!). As soon as we started kicking the ball around he had a huge scowl on his face. We had to run five more laps around the gigantic field than usual! My legs were exhausted and practice had just started! After that torture was over, we had to do sprints for ten whole minutes. I almost barfed but was able to stop myself. Didn’t want the coach giving us more laps! We didn’t get to touch the balls for 5 hours! (ok, maybe for just half an hour, but it sure felt like 5 hours!) I felt as if the balls were calling my name and saying “come to me! You know you want to kick me around!” It was the worst soccer practice ever! I was furious!
hoped you guys liked it,
~Shakaed~
Soccer was the best thing that ever happened in life , though last week we had a terrible practice that made me upset as hell. First, our coach, who is usually the nicest coach ever in the world, was in the worst mood. As soon as practice started he had a giant scowl on his face. We had to run 10 extra laps around the field than usual. My legs were worn out, and the practice had just started! We then had to do sprints from one side of the field to the other for ten entire minutes, I mean ten entire minuets! I thought I was was going to die! We didn't even see the ball for another hour. I was so angry I cant even tell you how angry I was at my coach for making us do those tiring exercises for the day.
Adam c.
hi!
I think that everyone is fixing up this 'bad paragraph' very well. I just wanted to say great job to everyone.
Bayle
Mostly soccer is the time of my life, but last week practice me burst into anger. First, our coach, who is usually fantastically nice , was in a horrible mood. As soon as practice started he had hell on his face. We had to sprint five more laps around the field than ever before. My legs were completely dead, and the team has only had 10 minutes of practice! We then had to run for ten whole minutes, which felt like days. I thought I was was going to puke out sweat! We didn't even get to look at the ball for another half an hour.
I don't have to tell you how I burst in pain!
-Jonah
Each week I wait for Sundays and Tuesdays because of cheerleading, but unfortunately I couldn’t say the same thing for this week. After our last performance our couch was bursting with anger. It began in our warm up she made us do ten more laps around the gym than usual, but that was just the beginning. In stretching in stretching she made us hold our splits for eight minutes it was so intense that I thought my legs would fall off. It was fifteen minutes until the end of practice and we still haven’t even began my favorite part, stunting. I don’t have to tell you how much my legs were throbbing that day.
- mikaela
Soccer is my favorite sport but last week would change that.
First our usually nice coach turned into an evil cranky mean scary coach.Second the minute practice had started the coach gave me a glare that could drive somone insane.Third he made us run an extra ten laps just because he felt like it.My legs had already felt like spagetti.After laps he made us do more laps around a ten km park so we would stay fit for the game.I realy didnt want to have a game after those so called exersizes
hey Mr. G,
This is my version of the bad paragraph.
Most of the time soccer rocks, but this we had what I can only descibe as a terrible practice. To begin with our coach arrived in a horrible mood, which only got worse as practice dragged on. From the whistle, a scowl crept onto is face. The team had to do five extra laps on top of the seven usual ones. After the laps, my legs burned, but mournfully, the work had just begun. Then, after the six-mile run (12 laps) we had to do ten extra minutes of non-stop sprinting. Already I was exhausted, but the agony carried on: even though my knees buckled and I collapsed onto the bench. We still had to do cardio and conditioning for the next 30 minutes, without soccer balls. Afterward our coach told us that sometimes you need to step it up a little, but we all knew he was angry. I was so upset and tired after practice that I wanted to quit when we got home!
Soccer Practice is normally what I wait for all week, except last week we had an atrocious practice. Our coach Mike, who is regularly fantastic, was in a dreadful mood. Mike’s face was cherry red from screaming so much. We had to run five more laps than usual around the field, which is as big as a football field. My legs were literally about to crumble into tiny pieces and our warm up had just begun. Soon after that we did sprints for twelve minutes sharp. I could feel my mac and cheese coming farther and farther up my throat. We did 630 sit-ups before touching the soccer ball. Hopefully my next practice is a whole lot better than this one!
-Isabelle
Soccer is the best, but at last weeks soccer practice I swear I was going to die from the brutal drills we had to do. All because are coach was in a bummed mood. First we had to do 20 laps then we sprinted for 20 minutes, help me lord. Oh man, that was just the beginning we had to do 2 more hours of running with the ball. Then we did some ball handling for about an hour. Then it was over, I took a three hour nap.
I know where you live coach.
Here is my version of the bad paragraph.
Usually Dance classes are a blast, but today, our extremely nice teacher, was EXTREMELY mean.
As we walked in to our dance studio she had this scowl on her face,which made us all want to skip class. When the teacher caught one of my friends saying this to me, she made us all do 4 extra minutes of sit-ups!
Once we were done my stomach was killing me, it was hard to stand up. Afterwards she made us run around the studio 15 times!
Now my stomach and legs were killing.
After class today I felt HORRIBLE, I was so angry at the teacher, that it's hard to explain.
Ofir O.
Usually soccer practice is fun - but last week it was hell. First, when we arrived, the coach was in a foul mood. He had a huge scowl on his face. That's not even the start of it - he made us do 5 more laps than usual, by which time my legs were aching. Then we had to do 20 sprints. I was so exhausted, I thought I was going to throw up. We didn't even get to kick a ball for another half an hour. It is difficult to explain how furious I felt.
-alex
Hi mr.G! here's my fixed bad paragraph!
Usually soccer practice is a blast but unfortunatly last week my always cheerful coach had to be in a grouchy mood. As soon as the practice began he had a gigantic scowl on his face and i knew it was going to be a bad day. As i thought, he made us do twenty laps instead of the usual ten and my legs felt like jelly. When I thought that coach was finally going to cut us some slack he made us sprint from one side of the field to the other for ten minutes without a break! I felt vomit coming up into my mouth for the hundrendh time since practice started and practice was only twenty-five minutes in. The soccer balls looked so lonely that i could almost see them rotting and they had only been there for half an hour. As I was walking home I was thinking about next weeks practice; would it be agonizing like today? or would it be fun? There's only one way to find out.
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