Sunday, January 31, 2010

Shane's First Draft of "Dragons"

Shane’s First Draft Of “Dragons”


I gaze towards
the miniature holes
of the sand box
from an unthinkable height.

The skin on my hand almost burns
from the metal rings
the large sweat drops fall
down my face but I don’t stop
my journey.


I jump and it feels
like someone jumping on
one trampoline to another.

I skim the burning hot sand
and move to the
next monkey bar as an
incredible breeze hits me.

I fall into the blazing hot sand
and get up as fast as I can
I start to dash to the grass
I start to do high knees


I jump as far as I can
I hit the grass with a thud
my body starts to cool down instantlyits harder to be like a dragon then I thought

3 comments:

Isobel said...

good job shane!
Very descriptive!
-Is :)

maayan said...

good job! it really you used alot of sensory images

Chloe said...

Really good job. Y ou used a lot of sensory images.

Chloe